One of Ballad Health’s six values, as determined by team members, is faith. “We nurture the mind, body and spirit of each individual to inspire hope and improve the health and well-being of our community.” Our chaplains across the system guide us in this process, so we are featuring them in a series of profiles in Ballad Health News. Today we feature Gary Metcalf, corporate director of spiritual health services.
“Where are you from?”
That’s a question patients or family members and even team members are likely to hear if they happen to meet Gary Metcalf, D.Min. BCC, corporate director of Spiritual Health Services for Ballad Health.
“I don’t usually stay on religious topics. Knowing where someone is from gives me insight and provides a way for me to connect to them when they are in crisis,” he said. “If they are from the mountains, we have something in common.
“If they say they are from Arizona, I’ll probably ask more questions, like what kind of music they like,” he said with a laugh. “Music is spiritual and shares something about the person. Or I’ll ask about their family and important relationships. Because I believe everyone is spiritual and your relationships will share the paths of your spirituality.”
Whichever question he uses, it’s the opportunity to listen and to find a connection that’s important, so he can provide spiritual care in the midst of a physical crisis.
For a hospital chaplain, how to best help someone is not always clear.
“There are spiritual agents in all of us that impact our health, our recovery, and our celebrations. And each of us is different,” he explained. “If I have cancer in one organ and you have cancer in the same organ at the same stage, our treatment will be much the same. Whatever worked well for others is what is likely to work well for us. When you look at the spiritual agents that help us cope or maintain a healthy wellbeing, however, that is going to be different. The task of the chaplain is to find that path. What is the plan of care to help that person spiritually which will impact them physically?”
As a chaplain for over 20 years, Metcalf has the training and background needed to provide support for patients and family in their moments of deep crisis. And he also brings his own experience to bear, as well. Twelve years ago, when his 18-year-old son was in a golf cart accident and brought to the hospital, Metcalf became the family member in crisis.
“When it happens to you, all your experience and knowledge goes out the window,” he said. His son Jonathan died from the head injury he sustained, and Metcalf admits that he is sometimes better able to care for others as a result of his experience, even as it serves as a reminder of his loss.
“A couple of years after Jonathan died, I made a decision,” he said. “This loss is a part of my life. It is the most painful part of it, and it shapes who I am. But it is not going to BE my life. It will not define me.”
After Jon’s death, Dobyns-Bennett High School Soccer Boosters renamed their Spring Invitational Tournament the Jon Metcalf Highland Cup. Gary continues to participate by presenting the championship trophy each year. “Jon was a friend to everyone he met,” he said. “He was humorous, caring, and loved life.”
When on duty as a chaplain, Metcalf does not readily share his experience of losing a son. “I don’t want to make what is happening to them about me,” he said. But he has found that in the right situation – when he is sitting with parents who have lost a child, for instance – telling them that he, too, has experienced such a tragic loss can provide common ground and encourage the parents to ask questions they might not have otherwise asked.
“You have to have an instinct about this work,” he said. “Sometimes you tiptoe through. You recognize when it is time for you to go, or when it’s time for you to stay… when is it is time to ask questions, or when it is time to be silent.”
As the director of Spiritual Health Services, Metcalf, along with other chaplains, serves everyone in need, regardless of their faith. “We provide spiritual care,” he said. “We embrace ethics and diversity and inclusion and all the spiritual aspects of life.”
The son of a minister, Metcalf didn’t set out to be a minister himself, but even as a teenager he was shaped by a Bible verse: “Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” I John 4:7-8
After he answered his call to ministry, he served an internship at a hospital and knew that being a chaplain was the career for him. In addition to his work at Ballad Health, he volunteers at the Covenant Counseling Center, a sliding scale Christian counseling center; and at the Providence Medical Clinic, a free faith-based medical clinic.
“This is truly ministry,” he said. “I walk with folks on sacred ground, in their most vulnerable times of life. It is a calling.”